I read an article the other day about the damage parents do to their LGBT kids when they bully them. It left me in tears because I realized that you, mom, are a bully. You bullied me with religion and with God, or rather, your idea and interpretation of who and what God is. You bullied me with your so-called reputation in the community and among your friends, and as a result, I have not been free to be myself around you, or in the very city where I grew up. Are you wondering why I left town in the first place? It’s because one random evening you called and yelled at me because “someone” had seen me walking downtown holding my girlfriend’s hand…which embarrassed YOU. I didn’t even remember running into anyone I knew that night, but I decided then and there that I had to get out, and soon. It was ridiculous. I was 29 years old.

Two weeks ago you called to ask what was “going on” with me and my fiancee. Though I already knew that YOU knew what the deal is, I boldly said to you, “We’re getting married.” “MARRIED?” you pretend asked. And for the first time in my life, I found myself smiling and looking forward to the conversation to be had. You went on to tell me that we are “living in the last days” and that God would surely “deal with me.” That I would witness his wrath and his anger at this thing which, by the way, was very embarrassing to you. (I find it quite interesting that you are able to make most things your children do with their lives be about you; that what I do and who I date somehow reflect on you. But, I digress…) I was proud of myself that at the conclusion of that conversation, I was unbothered.

And guess what? God has already “dealt with me.” He has sent me the woman of my dreams and made me happier than I have ever been before. I have never experienced this level of sustained joy in all my life. I have never smiled so much as an adult. I have never experienced unconditional love given to me in human form. That which you were unable to give, God has brought to me. So though you told me you do not, nor will you ever accept her; that she is not welcome in your home and you refuse to meet her, I remain content and confident in who I am and decisions I have made. I will not give up my happiness to allow you to save face before your friends who have never liked me and who have no effect on my daily life. I will not exchange this new found peace for the misery I endured and let go of only recently. You have never supported or accepted me for who I am and for that which I cannot change. If my inability to be who I am not causes you to stop being in my life (again), then so be it. Because finally, I choose me.